Tomorrow

I am extremely excited for tomorrow night to get here. Angie is coming into town to stay with me for the weekend. She's in town for The Watershed's alumni Anniversary weekend, where my lovely friend (who will go unamed until I get permission to use it on my blog), is recieving her 1 year medallion.

Tomorrow, Friday, is the start of my work week, so it is kind of like a Monday for me. I have never been so excited for this Monday! I haven't seen Angie in 2 weeks....I am going crazy without her presence. I think we are both pathetically in love. At times we both realize how disgusting it is. I, however, love being in love with her.

I'm a lucky man. What can I say?

I hope everyone gets to love and be loved like I do....everyone should be appreciated and cared for in this way. It's awesome.

That's all I got for tonight. Just trying to kill some time before bed.

I love you Angie.

My New House

I am really enjoying the new house I am living in. Today we got cable and internet. I have been without ESPN for an entire year. Now I finally have it, in my bedroom. I feel like I have won the lottery right now, what a great feeling!

Last night was my first night sleeping in my new queen size bed. I have to say, I slept fantastic! I'm a huge fan of having my own bedroom again. It's my own little space that is only mine, I don't have to share it with anyone.

My Last Night Here

Tonight is my last night in my halfway house, and I can't help but be a little bit nervous, scared, excited and amazed. This place has been my home for the last year of my life, in which EVERYTHING in my life has changed. It is where I made my best friends in life, and the love of my life. I have so many good memories here.

About 11 months ago, my roomates and I set off dry ice bombs out the back patio, and everyone thought it was someone shooting a shotgun in the nearby ghetto. Fun times!

When I first got over here after inpatient rehab, my roomate Scuba and I played "houseball", where we have a whiffle ball and bat and the goal was to hit the ball inside the house and make as much noise and do as much damage as possible. One time my friend Shawn was pitching in the kitchen, and I hit the ball perfectly....right into his cheek. It was hilarious!

So I am sitting in my living room all alone, no roomates home at all, and I am remembering all of the amazing times I have had here. I knew it would be time to get my own place eventually, but the last year has gone by really fast.

I have a car again, a really good job, amazing friends and supports, and the ability to chose to live my life differently. God has blessed me so much, and I am forever grateful to Him.

I owe my life to The Watershed, and the people who have taken an interest in my life. Lt. Dan, Mark, Robert, Sean, Rita, Rashida, Rebecca, Joan and of course Lenny. You all have given me a chance to succeed in life again, and believed in me even when it almost seemed hopeless. Thank you.

Wish me luck everybody, tomorrow my entire life begins again. I pray that God gives me strength and faith for the times ahead.

I have a new outlook on life today...

As I sit at home on my couch, I am reflecting upon the last year of my life, and I truly cannot believe how far I have come. This has been a wonderful year, God has blessed me in ways I could have never imagined.

I am just a normal man, every bit a sinner like everyone else on the planet. And God has given me new hope, a new lease on life. There is nothing that I can't accomplish with God in my life.

Today, I am a MIRACLE. It is a miracle that I am alive and sober. It is a miracle that I am a good friend today, a good boyfriend. A good co-worker, employee, son, brother and father.

This time 1 year ago I was not any of these things. Thank you Lord, I am not worthy.

1 Year Anniversary...and More

So tomorrow, March 19th, 2009, I have 1 year clean and sober. It is amazing to look back where I was last year at this time. I was a very very sick human being. Waking up every morning, all I thought about was how to get my next fix. I would plan out how I would get the money, whether it was stealing from my parents, my friends, or anyone else. It is really sickening to think about all of the terrible things I did to the people closest to me.

Now, in this last year, I have become a pretty mature man. I love people again, I am honest, I am trustworthy. I have people in my life that love me for me. I have a full time job, and actually show up every day without fail. I work hard.

I am also moving out of my halfway house, finally, after a year of being here. My current roomate and I are moving into a 3 bedroom house with a co-worker of ours. It is really exciting, but also a bit terrifying. Full blown freedom again. Very scary idea, but I know that I have changed so much. I don't have to worry about paying my rent, or how I am going to live. I make enough money to take care of everything. I have good people to move in with also, who will keep me in check.

Every day, I am reminded of how many amazing friends I have, and that people love me. I have the most wonderful girlfriend who loves me unconditionally. She really brings the good out in me.
I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her in my life.

And I'm a good boyfriend, at least I think I do a pretty good job. I try to love her the best way I know how.

So it is time to live in the real world again.....and I am going to make it this time. I'm ready. I'M READY!!!!

Thank you everyone who has stuck by me and loved me throughout this trying year. I couldn't have done it without your support. I don't know if I should, but I'm going to thank people by name anyways.

Angie, Jon, Nate, Kevin, Sandie, Lisa, Lindsay, Will, Sean, Robert, Mom, Dad, Adam, Colin, Megan and many many more....Thank you so much for being there for me. For knowing me and loving me when I needed it. I will never be able to express how important you all have been and will be to me.

Roomates

I love my roomates right now. We have lived together for a while and it has become very comfortable to live where I do. Both of my roomates are gay, and I love them. I don't have anyone in my bedroom...just me. Every day my roomate, who works with me, and I wonder aloud whether or not we will get some jackass put in our room or not. So far its been about 2 weeks without the tradgic event happening. I'm hoping I'll never get a roomate, but I gave up my pipe dreams a while ago, so I know it's only a matter of time.

Yesterday was my roomate's birthday, 22nd birthday to be precise. Tonight we are all going to a greek restaurant to celebrate. I have yet to go there, but from what I hear it is a great place to have fun. There is dancing on the tables and crap...good ole' sober fun! So when I get off work tonight at 10pm, I'll roll straight to the place.

Why is it that whenever I get a new roomate it is usually someone who is ridiculous or an ass? God really gets enjoyment from making me get crazy roomates. I can't wait to see what God comes up with next!

AdSense

I didn't know I could make money by displaying ads on my blog. AdSense gives me a little bit of money every time someone clicks on the ads on the side of my page. That rocks.

Drama

In a halfway house, there is always a ton of drama. And it is usually hilarious. It is a fact a of life. In most halfway houses or places of recovery, you will find that gossip is running rampant. Before I tried to stop using drugs or drinking, I never learned to focus on my own issues and downfalls. When I looked at myself, I denied being the source of my own problems, therefore shifting blame to everyone and everything else.

That being said, when you take the drugs away from me, I still naturally put the focus on other people and their ridiculous activities, pointing the finger at others, so I don't ever have to confront my own terrible character defects.

I have been living at this halfway house for almost one year now, and it stills baffles me to hear and see some of the things that people talk about. For example, he had sex with her in walgreens bathroom, she got drunk on mouthwash, and many other stories.

I have come to realize that although these accusations sound amazingly impossible, they are true a lot of the time. I have been around long enough now to know that addicts and alcoholics WILL do anything, predictable or not.

I wish I could remember some of the really good dramatic events that have happened that just blew my mind, but I am having a brain fart.

The only way I can survive in abstinence from drugs/alcohol successfully is to try and keep the DRAMA to a minimum in my relationships. Chaos and misery love company, and my disease always urges me to join the party of destruction.

Now, instead of being apart of the drama, I choose to just get a good laugh from it, while I'm standing as far away from it as possible so it doesn't get me in trouble.

God bless how entertaining it is to witness absolutely crazy behaviors and it not be me in the middle of the commotion. My advice to most new people is to stay clear of the black hole
I call DRAMA or CHAOS. Just get your laughs by listening about it.

Am I wrong to use other people's misery and craziness for my own source of entertainment? Just a little food for thought.....

Please comment with any really funny stories about drama in recovery or just in life in general. I would love to see what kind of ridiculous stuff pops up in the comment section.

It's been really fun. I'm sleepy........


JB

My First Blog

Hello All! Welcome to my new blog. I decided to start writing a blog because of the crazy crap I witness on a daily basis, and I feel the world deserves to enjoy "said crap" also!

I live in a halfway house in South Florida, which is nationally known for its' drug and alcohol recovery. I live in an apartment with 3 other people, 2 per room. We have rules such as curfew, obviously no drinking or using drugs, no women in our apartment, we must make our bed every morning, no energy drinks on property, and so on.

I have now been here for 2 weeks shy of a year. If anyone has ever been in a halfway house or recovery, you will understand what I mean when I say that it is hilarious to watch some of the things people do or say. I owe it to anyone interested to report and share the humor of my life. Hope it treats you all well.

Thanks for reading!